Praise Yourself
I ended the last post with – Don’t praise yourself for your successes. And I realised I had not worded that sentence properly. It was connected to the previous sentence and should have read as Don’t blame yourself for your faults; don’t praise yourself for your successes.
We are all eager to be praised by the people around us – family members, friends, office colleagues. We really feel good. And when we don’t receive the praise, we are sad and disappointed. What if we started praising and appreciating ourselves?
You MUST praise yourself for your successes and your efforts. Then you will not feel needy for compliments from others. Acknowledge yourself and your efforts. That will build your self confidence and pave the way for your success.
Don’t get carried away though. Don’t let the praise make you self-centered and vain. Use the praise as a springboard to further your journey. Use the praise to build your self-confidence and develop self-love. These are essential ingredients of life. And the last stage is indeed to make it “rewarding”. Here are some ways to praise yourself
Elevate your self-talk – When we become aware of our self-talk, we will realise that most of the times we are being unkind to ourselves and berating our thoughts, feelings and actions. Most of the time we have feelings of criticism, shame, guilt and anger. Let’s try saying things like "I'm proud of myself for having the courage to try" or "I'm doing my best and that is all that matters". Treat yourself as a child that you want to encourage.
Reframe negative thoughts - A reframing statement is a statement used to help see a situation from a different perspective. For example, instead of saying, "I am going to do horrible at my dance recital" you can say, "I know all of my moves; I have practiced daily. There is no reason why things should go wrong". So, instead of focusing on negative thoughts, try to find something positive to focus on and praise yourself for.
Own up to mistakes - It's important to also admit when you've made a mistake. Say Sorry!
Check out Kristen Neff’s website self-compassion.org for books and practices on self-compassion. At Joyhamesha (the initiative I facilitate) we have a group where we appreciate ourselves daily.
Also, I hope you have prepared your Daily Habit Scorecard. That is the beginning of the Habit Formation journey.
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