Vinod’s Story
Vinod’s best friend was Ganesh. They had met in college and then they both joined the same organization through the campus interview. They had joined the company together and were both climbing the corporate ladder steadily.
Vinod was chosen for an overseas assignment which he delivered to the extreme satisfaction of the management. On his return he received a handsome bonus and an untimely promotion. In the next assignment Vinod was in charge and Ganesh had to report to him. Though Ganesh accepted the situation gracefully, Vinod was regretting and feeling guilty for his untimely promotion. Why did the management have to promote him? Why did he have to do the overseas project so well? Why did they not choose Ganesh for the assignment? Why don’t they choose Ganesh for another overseas assignment? What must their common friends be thinking? What is Ganesh thinking? Does he feel I betrayed him? These, and other questions plagues Vinod and he was consumed by his guilt. His wife found him distracted. He would spend time looking into space and lose track of time. One day, Vinod developed a severe pain in the shoulder which subsided with physiotherapy, but every time he stopped his exercises. The xray showed no ligament tear or bone damage.
Impact of Guilt
Louise Hay, in her book You can Heal Your Life, says that resentment, criticism, guilt and fear cause more problems than anything else. These feelings come from blaming others and not taking responsibility of our experiences. If we take responsibility of our life then there is no one to blame. And life can be joyful and fulfilling without experiencing resentment, criticism, guilt and fear.
Guilt is an emotional discomfort you feel when you believe that you were responsible for something that offended or hurt someone else. Guilt always looks for punishment and punishment creates pain. Chronic pain comes from chronic guilt, sometimes so deeply buried that we are not even aware of it. Guilt is a totally useless emotion. It neither makes anyone feel better nor does it improve the situation.
Guilt can distort your perception of yourself, your situations and your view of others. Before that guilt can be eliminated, you must first determine whether your guilt is valid. Were you truly responsible for what happened? Does it make logical sense for you to feel so badly about the situation? Questions like these help you determine whether it makes sense for you to feel guilty.
While an exact cause has yet to be determined, a wide range of factors can add to a guilt complex. Some of the more common causes of excessive guilt include:
Mental health conditions: Excessive guilt is a symptom of several mental health conditions. People with anxiety tend to reevaluate past behaviors, which can lead to a guilty feeling.
Childhood trauma: When children are frequently treated as though they’ve done something wrong, it can make them feel responsible for negative events. This can sometimes result in intense feelings of guilt.
Religious beliefs: Guilt can be a byproduct of religious teachings and traditions.
Cultural norms: It can be hard for people to violate the norms of the culture they were raised in
Social circles: It’s normal to worry about what others think, but when someone feels like they’re always being judged by their peers, it can lead to frequent guilt.
The way out for Vinod is to consciously choose to let go of his guilt. The guilt isn’t his to carry. He has to keep reminding himself that there is nothing to do about it but let go. His “sentence” is over. He needs to let himself out of the prison.
Do you have any other suggestions?
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